Toxic People Affect Kids Too: Know the Signs and How to Explore a Little Deeper

This article was published to the Internet several years ago and was originally written to help identify “Losers” in relationships. The e-mail feedback I have received on the article has been tremendous. It’s clear the article is a way of identifying not only “losers” but controlling, abusive, and manipulating individuals. It’s also obvious these warning signs are not only found in dating relationships – but in our spouse, our parents, our friends, and our relatives. There are more victims in the environment of the Loser than his or her partner. The loved ones want to understand the situation and ask for recommendations and guidance. A link to this article is found at the end of this page. Obviously, this article has created the need for sequels. I hope to publish a guide to assist Losers who want to change their life and behavior. An article addressing sons and daughters who were parented by Losers is also being planned.

Why Do Women Go Out With Deadbeat Losers?

My daughter started seeing a guy her first boyfriend when she was 17 against our wishes. So we just hoped it would play out. I felt like something was wrong with him so ran background check, found out he is 28, has no job, no phone, no car, no money and lives with grandmother. The day our daughter turned 18, she got mouthy and hateful, packed her bags and moved in with my parents, against our wishes. I am not going to give her any more money ever.

As an adult daughter considering distancing myself from my family because of I​’m 32 years old and not estranged from my parents, but it’s getting harder generally unhappy with how their life has turned out to date in their last years. Further, elderly people shouldn’t be so desperate to move low-life abusive loser adult.

Dear Amy: I am the proud mom of two young adults, ages 25 and I do not like or approve of my year-old daughter’s boyfriend! He just does not “belong” in our family! He is 25 years old and does not have a paying job. He is at my house constantly. When my daughter suggested he get a job as a bartender or a waiter on the weekends, he mocked her. My daughter is in nursing school.

When discussing the shifts nurses work, he actually said, “You could get a second job! We invited him on our family vacation. We booked three suites at the St. Regis in Rome. He showed up with an extra-large ripped suitcase, and ordered the most expensive meals. He is late all the time, if he shows up at all.

Ask Amy: Mom’s judgment could shackle her daughter to a loser

You care about your financial situation and you are mapping out a plan for eventual financial freedom. Parents taking care of their adult children is something in my career that I see all too much. I mean really, should parents buy their year-old children new cars and pay their insurance? Sure, he would help me out if I really needed it but I paid my car payment, insurance , bought my food, and ventured out on my own at a very early age.

Is dating white guys? I want my parents for almost 18 yr old girl a loser. My teenage daughter is let her life around. Her thing and currently has a 13 year old​.

In most states she can just marry the loser, andthen things are much worse. An acquaintance of ours had the same problem. Her daughter had dated an inappropriate guy for five or six years – thru her freshman year. Mid-way thru her sophomore year he started getting jealous of her college activities and new friends. He finally started down the “it’s me or them” road and she chose “them”. Your friend should absolutely try to get the girl to make new college friwnds and get involved in campus activities, with no aspersions cast on him.

We all know they will grow apart, so if the parents can just keep nudging her toward growth and delay marriage, hopefully the growth spurt will happen before she is too committed. Giving ultamatums will only make it worse. You don’t say that he’s a dangerous person – just that her parents think she could do better.

Parents Don’t Approve BF/GF Relationship – What to Do

In short, I recommend openness and humility. By far the people I hear from most about that article are parents of adult children who want nothing more to do with them. Their feedback sounds like this:. The problem with all of these points, of course, is the boomerang effect that occurs whenever a parent blames her own child for poor behavior.

His own family doesn’t seem to want much to do with him. You won’t have someone who knows who you are to care about what happens to you when you are sick or old. Managing Your Relationship with Your Son or Daughter Three-and-a-half-year old Andy bites and sucks the sleeves and collar of his shirts until.

I am always involved in their lives. As children grow into adulthood, the role of a parent changes. This leads to one of the great joys of parenting—being the friend of an adult child. When it comes to parenting an adult child, a parent no longer has the authority or responsibility to make decisions for a child, ensure they experience the negative consequences of their bad choices, or to prevent them from making bad choices. A parent of an adult child does not even have the guaranteed right of giving their opinion without being asked.

As children grow, responsibilities change. Model correct behavior. The most powerful tool for any parent is often overlooked. Modeling look behavior is the best thing a parent can do whether their child is 2 years-old or 62 years-old. Nothing is more influential than a good example. Make good choices. Exhibit good behavior. Do the things which you hope your child will do. Give your opinion when asked.

Dear Abby: Daughter skips college to live with loser

Judy, whose heart was breaking witnessing her daughter living with an abusive man, made a comment about her daughter under my post Warning Signs that your Male Partner is Controlling you :. My husband and I have always found his behaviour to her to be selfish, sexist, uncaring, disrespectful and at times cruel. When I visited her to talk about what we were seeing, her reaction was withdrawn and non-committal, she was very loving, but said we had blown it out of proportion.

This mother was advised by Domestic Violence organisations not to push her daughter to take any action and to leave such decisions to her.

My sister who has just turned 17 has been with her 18 year old boyfriend My 17 year old daughter is dating a man that is She is smart, pretty, educated and yet she moved away from everyone and everything with this loser, who says.

Finding someone you love who loves you in return can be difficult. Then learning how to deal with conflicts within a relationship can be painful, as well. But there is an entire additional level of stress when, for some reason, you discover your parent s disapprove of the person you are dating. Having secrets and lies between you and your parents ruins trust and causes needless stress and drama which will affect your self-esteem, grades, and even your other friends. It is worth pushing pause on your anger and emotions and considering whether your parents may be right.

Parents remember their own good and bad choices while dating. They just want you to be protected from bad consequences which could affect the rest of your life. The fact of the matter is, most people spend very little time researching and getting to know the other person before they start dating them. They just jump into the relationship. They have fears of unwanted pregnancy, date rape, drug use, physical abuse , or simply having their children get a needless and unnecessary broken heart.

They also said he pushed me around too much. So I thought about what they said and talked to more people. The more people I talked to, nobody wanted us together.

“The Loser”

What do you say about the reverse? I mean, I can see why an older man would want to date a younger woman — physically that is, but why would a year-old woman want to date a man 45 or more? I can totally understand why older men go for younger women.

He has at least 18 of the “Loser traits” in your : Dr Joseph Aug 20, · My 21 year old daughter has been dating a loser who I call Mooch.

The dilemma I have a year-old daughter. I still see my daughter regularly and she is close to my wife and the two other children we have. Last week I was informed that her new boyfriend is a little older than her. He also has a wife and two children who he is preparing to leave to be with my daughter. I am, in equal measures, furious, horrified, embarrassed, ashamed and desperate.

This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is I am My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of his age and with his responsibilities could behave in this manner. How should I handle this?

Ask Amy: Mom is pulling out all the stops to get daughter to dump ‘loser’ boyfriend

Whether it’s a new boyfriend who seems like he’s bad news or a friend who sets off that little warning light in your brain, deciding how to handle these kinds of situations is one of the biggest struggles I’ve heard moms talk about. On the one hand, because you’re such a protective and loving mom, you probably want to barricade the front door and not let that person within 10 feet of your precious girl believe me, when I’ve heard girls in workshops talk about bad news boyfriends or mean friends, I’ve felt the exact same way!

But at the same time, you don’t want to go too far and drive a wedge between the two of you.

My 18 year old daughter is dating a 30 year old; since I don’t agree with this, should I kick her out? 16, Views.

What some may view as a lack of parenting, is what I deem parenting on purpose, as we work to build necessary life skills in our kids. My foursome has been expected to get themselves up on early school mornings since they started middle school. There are days one will come racing out with only a few minutes to spare before they have to be out the door. I heard a Mom actually voice out loud that her teen sons were just so cute still, that she loved going in and waking them up every morning.

Please stop. I find my sons just as adorable as you do, but our goal is to raise well-functioning adults here. My morning alarm is the sound of the kids clanging cereal bowls. My job is to make sure there is food in the house so that they can eat breakfast and pack a lunch. It will only be a few short years and I will have no idea what they are eating for any of their meals away at college.

my 18 year old daughter is dating a 21 year old loser?

Stacy and Brad have been together for a year. He moved in with us as soon as they started dating. But my daughter, who had depression and severe anxiety, is actually happy and doing amazingly well right now. You may have felt that having him in your home was safer than her perhaps running away and living with him.

Put yourself in your daughter’s shoes and try to see and understand what she finds attractive in him. Besides at 18 she’s capable of making her own decisions.

How do you know he is a loser? Does he hurt your daughter? Does he mistreat her? Does he lie to her? Put yourself in your daughter’s shoes and try to see and understand what she finds attractive in him. Besides at 18 she’s capable of making her own decisions albeit sometimes wrong ones but that is how one grows up.

18-Year-Old: ‘If Your Boyfriend Hits You, It’s A Sign Of Love’